Being realistic: Is your teen actually academic and does it matter?

Does your teen have their heart set on going to a top university, or could they not think of anything worse? In my view both options can be great, and we need to let go of this idea that every teen should go to university.

Of course here at Cram Lab I am trying to show every high school student that studying is a learnt skill, and that ANYONE can learn study skills and get better at sitting exams.

But this does not mean that we should expect every teen to get straight A’s or that every teen should have aspirations to go to university and win a nobel prize one day. The world is a much more interesting place with a diverse bunch of people in it, and it’s high time we did away with the idea that going to university is the only road to ‘success’.

Trying to force a teen who simply isn’t ‘academic’ is a square peg round hole situation. This doesn’t mean we can’t encourage all of our kids to do their best at high school, but it does mean that a lot of teens and their parents would be less stressed and more fulfilled if their teens were pursuing a goal that actually interests them.

A quick story

My Dad’s two older brothers were chalk and cheese. Big brother Jack graduated Dux (valedictorian), went to veterinary school, post grad, and to cut a long story short has had a career dripping with accolades and achievements.

Younger brother John however, only two years younger, could not have been more different. John could not wait to leave school the minute he turned 15. He hated school and had no interest whatsoever in pursuing anything traditionally 'academic'. He loved cars and that was his passion.

So younger brother left school on his 15th birthday, got a job as a mechanic, and by his mid-twenties was managing an autoparts shop, happy as a clam.

How could two brothers be so different?! I suspect this happens all the time in families. We are who we are and we all need to find our own path in life (I swear I am writing this sober…).

Is your teen a Jack or a John?

Many teens will be somewhere in the middle. It’s a wide spectrum.

In my view having at least an idea where your teen sits on this spectrum could be hugely beneficial for them, and for you. If you both know what your teen's goals, wants, needs, passions and ambitions are (or at least what they aren’t) then you can tackle high school together as a united front.

Let's be realistic. If your teen is a John then getting straight A's probably isn’t the right goal for them. This doesn’t need to be a bad thing. What would be bad is if you and your teen are on different pages when it comes to their goals and aspirations — if your teen is a John but you want them to be a Jack. This is a recipe for a whole lot of stress and frustration and probably conflict between you and your teen.

Your teen's goals and aspirations will be unique to them, and in the long run, everyone is going to be much happier and better off if you are supportive of those goals, rather than trying to push your teen down a path that they have no interest in.

Regardless of where your teen sits on the Jack-John spectrum, we're here to help them achieve their study goals, so let us know what those goals are and let's set to it!

Thanks for reading.

Clare

Photo credit: Tree photo created by freepik - www.freepik.com

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The 5 biggest mistakes I made while studying

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Back to school: How to help your teen set goals that actually work